Nobody could ever say, that I am lacking determination. I am still here. Still the same weight which is good and sad in equal proportions. But I am working on myself.
I gave up writing because I was embarrassed that I did not see the only result I wanted to see => weight loss. But I have seen a lot of other improvements. I am much stronger, just moving on to a 16 kg kettle bell which is saying something.
I can run 2 - 3 km without getting hopelessly out of breath and have experiences runners high. I am quite addicted to running, so I have bought myself a Fitbit and am logging my steps and speed.
The reason I am starting to write again is my attempt to crank it all up a notch and go off wheat and carbs plus do some serious head work.
Am already through the carbs withdrawal stage which earned me a stonking headache for two days and am on day 4 now. The head work is going to involve my knowledge of 'Clean Language', EFT and TAP training. I want to combine and conquer.
Yesterday I caught myself early enough in the throws of a 'mentally searching the cupboards for something satisfying to eat' episode which would normally result in me eating something just for the sake of it. I managed the willpower to tap through it instead. The very fast pressure relief is incredible. I tapped on:
'I want something to fill the hole' during the tapping I realised that it was ok to want and ok to not act on it.
Later I got really hungry and again was ready to hit the fridge for something.....anything. I tapped through that too and welcomed the hunger as a good friend and a sign that I was going the right way. Again the pressure to eat something immediately went right down and I felt quite elated over my success.
I also know that it will not be that easy all the time. My mind is smart and has many ways of making sure that it gets its habits met.
I gave up writing because I was embarrassed that I did not see the only result I wanted to see => weight loss. But I have seen a lot of other improvements. I am much stronger, just moving on to a 16 kg kettle bell which is saying something.
I can run 2 - 3 km without getting hopelessly out of breath and have experiences runners high. I am quite addicted to running, so I have bought myself a Fitbit and am logging my steps and speed.
The reason I am starting to write again is my attempt to crank it all up a notch and go off wheat and carbs plus do some serious head work.
Am already through the carbs withdrawal stage which earned me a stonking headache for two days and am on day 4 now. The head work is going to involve my knowledge of 'Clean Language', EFT and TAP training. I want to combine and conquer.
Yesterday I caught myself early enough in the throws of a 'mentally searching the cupboards for something satisfying to eat' episode which would normally result in me eating something just for the sake of it. I managed the willpower to tap through it instead. The very fast pressure relief is incredible. I tapped on:
'I want something to fill the hole' during the tapping I realised that it was ok to want and ok to not act on it.
Later I got really hungry and again was ready to hit the fridge for something.....anything. I tapped through that too and welcomed the hunger as a good friend and a sign that I was going the right way. Again the pressure to eat something immediately went right down and I felt quite elated over my success.
I also know that it will not be that easy all the time. My mind is smart and has many ways of making sure that it gets its habits met.
It seems
that my mind is very very good at letting things slip that are not
convenient and threaten my status quo.
If it
forgets to let it slip, it puts up resistance. The more I push, the
harder the resistance. All to keep the status quo, to stay in comfort
zone, to protect me. Pretty awesome piece of equipment.
If it
forgets to let it slip, or is out of resistance we always have the
false arguments I can tell myself. Nice!!
What amazes
me is my commitment to the Fitbit. Have not missed a day in nearly
two month. Pretty impressive!
My thyroid is moving into underactive mode and there might be even more going against my weight loss. I am therefore renewing my commitment to get my level of health to an optimum. Because that is what I can control and it includes:
- speed
- strength
- flexibility
and this way affecting my blood
pressure and thyroid and anything
else that needs fixing.
Because I love
myself and I never, ever give up.
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