What are goals for

if one can not change them. I have been trying to go with my head through the wall and have been getting exactly nowhere. So it ain't working, I am getting it.

Slight changed of tactic and I am focusing more on being fit and strong. Fat, fit and strong is better than fat, flabby and weak I guess (she says with moderate enthusiasm because deep down all she wants is to be slim).
The stationary bike is back in the living room for the time being. It is just not nice in our garage come gym when it is cold and wet outside. Also in the gym I can not watch the backlog of films I have recorded . So I am peddling my heart out in the living room, 20km a day. Today I was so engrossed in this film that I ended up doing 30km. Fine by me. Tomorrow it is back into the gym to do a session of weight lifting.

When I was redefining the goal it came to me how many things I still want to achieve which are physical and depend on me being good shape:

Dive into water
This might sound funny to most but I simply have not been able to do it. And they have tried to teach me, including this strange boyfriend I had in Munich who was a Psychiatrist in training. He ensured that I got out of that relationship double fast when he took me to meet his psychiatrist mentor for 'tea' (nobody in Germany invites people for 'tea' other than those who have ambitions of grandeur) First I was quite flattered, she lived in a very posh villa but I realised very quickly that I had been asked so that she could have a chance to look me over. He obviously wanted (or, even worse, needed??) her approval. I was young and rebellious, so I obliged and gave her plenty of reasons to disapprove. He never taught me to dive from the pool side and I think I had a very lucky escape there.

Crawl
No not on all fours but in the water. I am stuck with my breast stroke and want to do more.

Hand stand
This is a hangover from being one of the worst at sport in school. I think the way sports teachers reinforced our beliefs that we were not very good at anything sporty was a crime. But they obviously preferred to spend their time with the best and gave up very easily if people like me did not pick up quickly enough whatever they were teaching. So I still can not do a hand stand (but at least I can suck my big toe!)

Learning to ski
Oh my, another one of those school memories. We went on only one ski trip from school and on the first couple of days everybody started out on the nursery slopes so they could assess our skills. Thinking back, my expectations were so low of myself. I was not alone on that front and was immediately grouped with the nerds who were bad at sport in general. None of us had ever been on a pair of skies. Of course our group ended up the entire week on the nursing slopes close to our youth hostel and the rest of the school went off, skiing off big mountains, having great days out. Guess where the best teachers were during that week? Ever heard of self fulfilling prophecies?

Tandem hang gliding
Hurling off a mountain secured to a nylon wing yeahhhhhhh (there is a weight limit and I am not within range)

Triathlon
This ambition has been with me forever and I will just have to bloody do it or I will still be talking about it when I am 60. Being able to crawl would be good, being able to run would be useful too .............................