Not so useful questions

So I get that I am not supposed to do negative self talk and thoughts. I am working hard and that and getting better at it. After all, this blog is about me stopping to batter myself.

I have been adding journal prompts to my blog. I want to have a whole list of great questions which make me pause and think before I answer them. They can often lead to great insights. The quality of the question determines the quality of the answer. I thought I am pretty good at this, you know being a trained coach and a bright open minded person and all that. Then I listened to one of my favourite podcasts 'Weightloss and the mind' . There are often real thought provoking gems in these podcasts. I nodded along with them when they were talking about their topic of great questions - 'yeah, yeah I know all that and totally agree' I thought smugly.

They stopped me dead in my tracks when they started talking about bad questions. Like: 'Why can't I lose weight?' I know I often ask myself that very question in my head (try to imaging the whining voice and an undertone of self-pity and desperation) My answer usually includes: 'because I am lazy' and 'I have no self-discipline' and 'I am useless' (imagine slightly higher pitched whiny voice and lower lip quivering now with self-pity) How useful are these answers? If my aim is to give myself a hard time: VERY! If my aim is to lose weight: No use whatsoever!

My thought police has got clear instructions: Spot those unhelpful questions!! 'Why' questions simply do not help to come up with quality answers - be that in your own head or if you ask somebody else. They often sound like an accusation or judgmental (you can really only get away with them as an inquisitive child). Why do you wear your skirts that length? Why did you not call me? Why can I not get that right?