Travelling, Gallbladder stones and other gems

A much neglected blog due my work load in the last couple of years. My career hast taken off in a direction I could not have foreseen. I am travelling the world and making a good living. Score!

However, that does bring of course the problem that everything else is being neglected. My husband, my friends, my pets, my art, my house, my looking after myself......
I require better balance for the coming year and that includes honing my ability to say 'no', 'non', 'nein'. Apart from that I weigh about the same I have since I stopped smoking 12 years ago and still want to lose that weight.

After practising for nearly 3 years, I am now able to run 5 km without collapsing and quite often without stopping. Still love weightlifting and want to continue to smash my PB's.

I have been diagnosed with gallbladder stones and the start of a fatty liver. I am agonising over an operation to remove my gallbladder (my last attack was September and nothing since). I still have my thyroid and my tests remain normal to under active. I have a feeling that my thyroid gland is growing though. Both things I am actively doing something about but really REALLY want to avoid an operation in both cases.

There are several things I am focusing on every day this month:

• 14000 steps 
• Carbs stay under 100 gr
• Time for Meditation and EFT 
• 7+ hours of sleep (I really would like to say 8 hours ...)

as well as

• 3 public 5 km runs (in addition to my morning runs in the forest with the dogs)
• 10 body weight workouts
• 4 trainer workouts
• 20 alcohol free days

5 km!!!!!!

This is a line in the sand moment for me. I am thrilled beyond believe.

After two years of practicing to run, starting with more  often walking than running, but never being able to do more than 2 minutes running on a treadmill even at a slowish pace without getting out of breath. I never thought it would change and stuck to it anyway, because I noticed that I was getting stronger - in body and in mind

{I}

the live long "not able to run wannaberunner"

did 5 km on the treadmill, without stopping and without getting out of breath and I managed to do it in just under 40 minutes.......... TWICE last week

Un-be-lievable. I am forcing myself to celebrate the moment because my mind immediately went to think on to what my next goal will be.Whatever it is, I know I can achieve it now.

Because I can run 5 km! Wohoooooooo

I am thanking my dogs who need a walk whatever the weather. And apart from really icy days we ran and walked and ran some more.

I set myself little goals to reach, one day I finally managed to get to that a gate, that was a bit of a break through and showed me that being able to run is also mental. I set my mind to a certain distance goal, I know what it looks like and I seem to be able to reach it more often than not.

Have I mentioned that I am tickled pink???

Day 4 & Determination

Nobody could ever say, that I am lacking determination. I am still here. Still the same weight which is good and sad in equal proportions. But I am working on myself.
I gave up writing because I was embarrassed that I did not see the only result I wanted to see => weight loss. But I have seen a lot of other improvements. I am much stronger, just moving on to a 16 kg kettle bell which is saying something.
I can run 2 - 3 km without getting hopelessly out of breath and have experiences runners high. I am quite addicted to running, so I have bought myself a Fitbit and am logging my steps and speed.
The reason I am starting to write again is my attempt to crank it all up a notch and go off wheat and carbs plus do some serious head work.

Am already through the carbs withdrawal stage which earned me a stonking headache for two days and am on day 4 now. The head work is going to involve my knowledge of  'Clean Language', EFT and TAP training. I want to combine and conquer.
Yesterday I caught myself early enough in the throws of a 'mentally searching the cupboards for something satisfying to eat' episode which would normally result in me eating something just for the sake of it. I managed the willpower to tap through it instead. The very fast pressure relief is incredible. I tapped on:
'I want something to fill the hole' during the tapping I realised that it was ok to want and ok to not act on it.
Later I got really hungry and again was ready to hit the fridge for something.....anything. I tapped through that too and welcomed the hunger as a good friend and a sign that I was going the right way. Again the pressure to eat something immediately went right down and I felt quite elated over my success.
I also know that it will not be that easy all the time. My mind is smart and has many ways of making sure that it gets its habits met.

It seems that my mind is very very good at letting things slip that are not convenient and threaten my status quo.

If it forgets to let it slip, it puts up resistance. The more I push, the harder the resistance. All to keep the status quo, to stay in comfort zone, to protect me. Pretty awesome piece of equipment.

If it forgets to let it slip, or is out of resistance we always have the false arguments I can tell myself. Nice!!

What amazes me is my commitment to the Fitbit. Have not missed a day in nearly two month. Pretty impressive!

My thyroid is moving into underactive mode and there might be even more going against my weight loss. I  am therefore renewing my commitment to get my level of health to an optimum. Because that is what I can control and it includes:

• speed
• strength
• flexibility 

and this way affecting my blood pressure and thyroid and anything else that needs fixing.

Because I love myself and I never, ever give up.

September

I wish I could say all is perfect perfect................. but what kind of dull life would that make:

Life is semi-perfect and there is one shadow I need to jump over FAST.

I am still me, still the same weight or if in doubt - slighty more- but I am me. And I will not give up.

Make your own meal replacement shake

I have had my fair share of these meal replacement drinks and they tend to have one or two things in common: artificial flavours, some sort of sweetener and funky E ingredients and stabilizers. In general the shakes are too sweet for me and do not get me started on the taste of most soups. So I am making my own and becoming quit a whizz at it.

Meal replacement shake recipe
Your protein powder of choice ( I use pea protein and have gotten used to the taste)
plus
organic low fat milk or Soy Milk or my preference: Rice Milk
plus often
a teaspoon of good dark chocolate powder
plus
frozen cherries or a banana or mint leaves or any fruit of your choice
optional
a squirt of Agave Nectar if it is a little bland


I tried a couple of days ago a shake with a spoon full of organic peanut butter - yummmm. Very satisfying!

The advantages are obvious:

• Taste
• Price
• Quality

In summary, don't buy pre-made meal replacement shakes. You can do so much better without much work. Get yourself a magic bullet, a tub of protein powder (plain, you do not want to be adding those artificial sugars again) and some choice ingredients.

Of coursehis works with meal replacement soups as well!

Meal replacement soup recipe
Cook a vegetable soup (pea, cauliflower and almonds or tomato are my current favourites)
fill a magic bullet cup with your soup
add a spoon full of protein powder and
mix

The taste will be so much better than any of the stuff you can buy and taste SOOOOOO much better. You can freeze it in individual portions too.

All set for 2011

I have created a beautiful goal canvas where G and we added our goals for the year in form of butterflies and moths. Very motivating and already looking forward to opening them up next December and read them together.

I also know exactly what I want to achieve this year. But more than anything I want to enjoy the present moments. Wether I am good or bad - I never want to be indifferent to what is going on within or around me.

Going too see doctor re hormones and thyroid on the 7th (had to book a month ahead to get an appointment with my GP........................) and want to dazzle with normal blood pressure. So no coffee this week and lots of meditation and exercise.

Bungee Wall - my metaphor for yo-yo dieting

I went through a process called 'Clean Language' with myself the other day. It is a way of creating a picture/metaphor of what is and what I would like. Doing it with myself is not that easy as having somebody else asking the questions but I came up with a great metaphor for my yo-yo weight loss experience.

I imagined one of those bungee walls where you are attached to a strong rubber band and are really excited the first time you get on it. At the end of the line, there is that dress, that look, that image I want to achieve when I have lost all the weight.

And off I go..... . Euphorically I start moving forward. The bouncy castle kind of surface is wobbly but the bungee is not stretched yet and I move forward without too many problems. Lots and LOTS of people are doing the same. Everybody has dreams and hopes to arrive at the end and claim the coveted prize of the perfect look/feel.
It gets a little harder but not impossible, some start falling down already and slight back of those some get up and move forward again and some just shake their heads and move away.

I am still there determined, but it is getting harder the further I go forward. My thoughts are not helping, it is getting harder. Outside the bungee wall people seem to be enjoying themselves effortlessly and I have to work so bloody hard.
And it is getting harder I am not only struggling with the bungee cord but with the thoughts that are holding me back.

But I have made quite some progress and my thoughts are telling me I deserve a rest. I think I can just sit down at the point I have got to and stay there. I am strong enough to keep the bungee cord in the same place. Not true......... I am starting to slight back and can not seem to find enough grip to stop the slight back. The bungee cord reverses the energy and rushes me back to not only the beginning but shoots me through the wall a little bit further back then when I had started. I feel powerless and dejected until the day I find the strength to start the whole process again.

Doing the same thing over and over again is a form of madness of course. But that is what I and so many other people do when we are dieting.

I would like to replace that picture with something better. Dragging on a bungee cord is no fun and kind of impossible in the long run. That is what I will work on this week.